well summer came and went and another semester began a whole month and a half ago. since then i've been to japan, a few islands, made a new korean friend who is strongly seeking Jesus, and just having a good time.
in many ways, i wish i was better at finding a flow to things. thats always been my problem with writing. too fragmented. too scattered. like my life. up and down and occasionally in between. some days i feel so alone and ready to leave and start somewhere new without being alone. other days i feel attached to the life i made here.
it really is quite remarkable when i think about it. what has been built since i've been here. i remember when i first ate korean food. went to a noraebong. spoke korean. found a church. the Lord has done great things. when i was home this summer i missed this life every day. when i'm here, i miss the people at home more than anything.
a friend once told me that we weren't meant to always be uprooted. because how then can we grow? she compared me to a tree without roots. for a while i wondered if she was right. and in many ways she is. but i think maybe the more important question is not where to be rooted, but who.
ever since i went to college it seems like i've always been called to a life of transition. and its been a blessing and a curse. but i'm not sure the answer is to be rooted necessarily in one place.
although it is true. if we aren't rooted somewhere we find our hearts constantly unsatisfied. constantly torn among worlds, creating worry: the result of serving two masters.
but there is a place to be rooted. the only place, person, presence. one tabernacle, one covenant, one God all together rooted in the name of Christ. he is the only place to build our roots. some will be called to one place in that name. some will always be moving. regardless, without roots in Christ, there will never be growth. but in him, life is found in abundance and continuity.
when i am distracted from him watering me, i forget who i am and don't grow. instead, i go to other places in my heart. and i worry, put pressure on others and myself especially. too often i find myself in this place. but the days i ask the Spirit's guidance by day, hour and minute i see his water again, and remember who i am. in these moments there are not two worlds, two hearts, two countries, two languages. there's just him and his covenant and tabernacle with all of us.
and this is where i want to be truly rooted. and where i always want to return no matter where i am.
blessed is the man who walks not in the counsel of the wicked, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sits in the seat of scoffers; but his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he mediates day and night. he is like a tree planted by streams of water that yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither. in all that he does, he prospers. the wicked are not so, but are like chaff that the wind drives away. therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment, nor sinners in the congregation of the righteous; for the LORD knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish. -psalm 1
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